Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
