apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
