did you get engaged???
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
