It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
