Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
