Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
