Will you blow on my dice?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
