I love watching others lives come down to our level.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
The convent might be a nice break from real life
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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