so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
