I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
