All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
