His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
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