you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
