I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize