Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
