and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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