please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
