You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
