I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
