how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
