Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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