You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
So gin and wine won't be happening again
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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