Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize