I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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