I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Randomize
