I molested 6 butterflies tonight
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
