so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I need moral support for this bender
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
