Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
