Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
