Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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