You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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