this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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