ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
