Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
