i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Randomize
