I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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