you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
