whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize