Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
