do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
