we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
