I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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