dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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