I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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