I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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