fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
