Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
