Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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