my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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