Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
