im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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