plz talk dirty to me
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
