I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
