lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
