none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize