U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i dont even know how to be here
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
