if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize