bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
