We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
